Dear Android Cell Phone,
I would like to thank you for keeping me connected in every possible form with the world. My top 4 apps happen to be Twitter, Facebook, Foursquare and my email accounts of course. Since I have had the pleasure of using you my numbers and statistics on my blog and Twitter have skyrocketed. I enjoy the fact that most everything about you and your features are so east to use and navigate.
I chose you in the store that day because you were the newest phone out and I was drooling over the look, features and amazing display case. My husband agreed to allow me to buy you as there was a two for one deal so my husband was able to get one too.
I have spent many hours playing various games, texting back and forth, listening to music, watching the very sexy, funny Philip DeFranco on YouTube and of course talking to the few people who actually call me.
With all that being said, I think I should get to the real reason for this letter. I think we have stumbled upon a rough patch in our love. I am starting to really fucking hate you. You have got to find some more energy. This shit is fucking ridiculous. How the fuck am I supposed to keep loving you if I have to charge you twice a day for over 2 hours each time and you still fucking die on me? This is just flat out bullshit. Winter is coming and God forbid something happen I just might fucking have an emergency and your bitch ass will be dead, incapable of use. You are letting me down and I am seriously over this shit.
Yes, I am well aware of the Advanced Task Killer App that is supposed to help you save power. That whole damn thing is a fucking joke. It doesn’t do a goddamn thing, and seriously, like I have time to check you, open the app and kill all these fucking apps because you randomly open them throughout the day without my permission. I think the app is a big scheme and someone is getting major bank for the millions of downloads from unsuspecting users hoping that your sisters, brothers and cousins will have a better battery life.
Listen, you need to get your shit together and step up your game. I’m seriously at my breaking point with you. I am starting to notice other phones out there that might be better to me. They might actually stay turned on. Consider yourself warned. I will leave you if you can’t please me, I’m just saying!
Sick of Your Shit,
Miranda
This post was written from Mama Kat’s Writers Workshop.
If you would like to read other “Write a love letter to an inanimate object.“ posts, stop by Mama Kat’s Site
About Miranda Sherman
Cute! I wrote about my phone too! And, I completely agree with you about the battery life!
These are fighting words, Android. I think the writing is on the wall for this relationship!
(iPhone … start strutting your stuff.)
Visiting from Mama Kats.
I second this! I love my droid but it is always dying. Time to get their shit together!
I just got my first android. My first smartphone actually. And all I can say is fuck yes on all points. In particular, what the HELL is the deal with the random apps I did NOT open?
I think I need a new battery for my Droid. I’ve started having to charge it, seriously, like 6 times a day.
I downloaded the task killer app, too…and then deleted it when my husband told me that not only does it take more power to check on the “tasks” all the time, but shutting them down takes more power, too. Kind of like shutting off your car instead of letting it idle for ten minutes.
I think you two need time apart, maybe separate vacations:))
I meant you and your annoying phone. NOt sweet Hubby.
I need a new phone! LOL… I am looking for bloggers to participate in 25 Day’
OH. MY. GOD. I almost threw up I was laughing so hard once you switched gears. My Husband has an Android and I have an iPhone. We both have our phone issues, but like you, his battery life is the WORST!!!
LMAO! I love this post! I couldn’t agree with you more! Now following you through GFC and Twitter;)
http://canadianangelxo.blogspot.com/“
Glad I never got hooked on those type of phones. I use pay as you go and hardly ever turn it on. I am not important enough to have a swanky phone and really don’t want people to find me! Thanks for linking up to our blog hop, Love U! I really appreciate the support. My co-hostess is getting married next week so we won’t have the blog hop but hope to see you the following week. I am already following you on GFC and Facebook.
Mary@http://www.mmbearcupoftea.com
This is the funniest ever! I’m having the same problem with my phone……and it gets really hot, what’s that about?!
LMAO that’s hilarious! My iPhone is about the same. I have chargers everywhere and I’m always worried I’m going to run out of battery when I need it!
Battery life — the bane of the app-heavy phone’s existence. I loved your no-holds-barred account of your problems with your phone!
I wrote about my phone too, but I love mine. Thanks for a chuckle today.
Hack the phone, then download SetCPu. You can control the battery output under different circumstances. Mine operates at full power only when above 80% battery or plugged in. Operates at 1/4 power when the screen is off… and so on.
I never need to charge my battery more than once a day. In fact my goal is to go through an entire day without ever having the battery meter drop below 100%.