My Haunted Past…Haunting Me Now…….

“One need not be a chamber to be haunted, One need not be a house. The brain has corridors surpassing material place”. -Emily Dickinson
        Haunt, haunting, haunted…………words that can describe most anything but it is always psychological. The depths of my mind and memory are endless, but scattered.

Sometimes I think of memories as a very neat, crisp, cold, sterile room with 

fluorescent lighting, with endless rows of tan filing cabinets, all equally 

spaced. Everything is very organized.

My Haunted Past…Haunting Me Now…….
The Memory Filing Room of Most People

Not my memory. After years of neglect, my memory system is a little…well, 

cluttered, scattered, foggy, smoky, misplaced, choppy, etc.

My Haunted Past…Haunting Me Now…….
The majority of my Memory Room

Don’t get me wrong, the past couple years worth of files are nice and neat 

and full of information, files are complete and clean. Which is nice but man, 

it would be nice to have a clearer image of past times. 

        I was wild, dangerous, flirty, full of laughter and contempt of ALL authority. I had a chip on my shoulder and a hell of a spirit! Days were full of sleep, tummy aches, headaches and Puzzles. Nights were full of drink, smoke, partying and dangerous situations. Good Times, Bad Times and Wish I could redo it times. 
       

    Me, Well I am haunted of those times. What if People knew my past…Would they judge me? Would they pull that “I’m so proud” you changed crap? Would they feel sorry for me? Would they say I deserved it? Would they continue to be my friend? Would I be a risk? Would they think I would ruin their reputation? These things haunt me. I don’t share my story, I keep it inside. Though it’s my past people are far too judgmental to keep that in mind and remember ME, NOW, The me standing in front of them. That’s sad. It’s a pity. Don’t pity me, pity yourself for not accepting someone because of their past. Shame on you, I’m still the same person you know. 

“One need not be a chamber to be haunted, One need not be a house. The brain has corridors surpassing material place”. -Emily Dickinson
That being said, please start your week keeping this post in mind. Consciously think to yourself as you run into your friends throughout your week, “Would I still accept them if they had a past?”; “Does a past have anything to do with the present?”; “Am I really that Judgmental and shallow?” 
 
My Haunted Past…Haunting Me Now……. Shhhh…Inner thoughts of my fucked up mind!  Miranda
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Please Take A Moment, Click to Vote for My Blog!
My Haunted Past…Haunting Me Now…….

About Miranda Sherman

Miranda Sherman is a stay at home Mom of four & full time student majoring in Business Management & Marketing from Detroit Lakes, Minnesota. She blogs about her crazy family of six & two dogs on her blog Minnesota Miranda, featuring book and product reviews, giveaways, news, parenting tips and advice, shopping, recipes, fashion, travel, deals and so much more.” Find me on Google+

Comments

  1. I’m so proud of you crap…that’s bullshit! I certainly hope you don’t really feel that way. You have changed.. and for the better! Sure you were a wild kid (maybe with reason) but…You worked very hard to change your life around and I recognize it was’nt easy. You could have been a slacker forever, would have been easier! I am pround of you and that you are my daughter..I think it’s about time you became proud of yourself too!!! Start working it in

  2. EVERYBODY has a past, of that there is no doubt. I heard a quote once that said something like “everyone you meet is going through something”.

  3. HI! i just joined the blog hop, now following via GFC!!
    http://livinthemommylife.blogspot.com

  4. To be fair, aren’t you pre-judging us by assuming we’ll judge you poorly if we knew your past?

  5. Mom, Thanks, I am proud of myself, very!

  6. Dustin,
    To be fair? I dont have to be fair. These are MY thoughts and MY feelings. What is not fair is that i HAVE been judged, I HAVE been alienated before, or pitied or given that “poor you” look and it’s sickening, especially when it’s from someone you thought was a friend. It’s annoying when it’s from someone who has their nose so high in the air that can’t see the shit right in their own house. THAT is the type of thing I am talking about. TALKING, not judging!

  7. Hey Miranda…I go through the same thing every day. It’s so great to know that we’re in the same boat and I feel very fortunate to call you my friend! Robin

  8. Thank You Robin! You are a great friend, thanks for being awesome! Love ya!

  9. wow — great post — and one i can without a doubt relate to. i would like to think i wouldn’t judge my friends as ihave NOOOOOO room to judge anyone — but i think to some degree we all inadvertedly do it — even a wee bit.
    i keep certain things off of my blog(s) and not because i fear being judged — i fear being misjudged.
    thought provoking!

  10. Great post! I am following you from the Monday Mingle blog hop.

  11. Hi, I’m Sarah, I’m a new follower from the Hoppin Weekend blog hop and wanted to invite you to come follow mine http://skylarinc.blogspot.com/. Thanks:)”

  12. Oh I do have a question. I’ve been using Big Crumbs and was considering doing Ebates as well and was wondering if it is good to use both? I’ve heard good things about both and BC has been working for me, but I’ve also heard Ebates is great too.

Leave Me A Comment

*