When I turned 18 I was free! I had already graduated. I got my GED a year and a half early. The summer had already begun being my birthday is at the end of July. The summer I turned 18 my only dream was to party and party hard! I had saved up nearly $3,000. 

I spent the summer partying my ass off! We were staying out late, going to any party we heard about.  We were drinking like crazy and loving every minute of it! Shortly after Halloween all my money was gone! It went up in smoke and through my liver. After the money was gone the partying was pretty much over. About a week and half before my 19th birthday, I had a baby. My story really starts here. Up to this point I really had no clue what I wanted to do with my life, no dreams, just live life. Then I had an early delivery. My daughter was born via emergency c-section at 28 weeks gestation and only weighed 2 pounds 5ounces. She was this itty bitty tiny baby. Very small, weak, frail, fragile and I was scared out of my mind. I was trying to recover from my part of the illness and fighting for my life and my baby was too. The Dr. let me know that “hopefully” for the next couple months, the hospital would be my home. I would spend most of my days and some of my nights at this hospital. I was a new Mom yes, but this was different, this was more intense. I had to help save MY baby’s life!There was a lot of medical jargon that I had to learn. Medical equipment I had to ask questions about so it wasn’t so scary and the beeps or alarms didn’t shoot my blood pressure through the roof, surely leading to a heart attack of my own! Then there were the therapy sessions. First I had to learn to use my hospital grade breast pump, a lesson to learn how to properly label and store my breast milk for little MeMe when she was able to receive milk. Then I had to bring things of comfort for the private NICU pumping/visiting/therapy room. Items like a pillow, blankets, a change of clothes, music or pictures. Things to make me feel relaxed and calm.

   MeMe spent 2 full months in the NICU. It was a lot to handle for me as a first time Mom and only a teenager myself, but we made it through. Shortly after MeMe came home I started thinking about my future and what it would hold. First I thought I would want to be a NICU nurse. It seemed like a great idea, I could help save all the little babies like MeMe, then I realized it’s not all happy endings. Some families leave without their babies. The moment that thought entered my mind my dream had changed, There was NO way I could handle that. No way I could sit by while a family had their hearts ripped from their chest. No way. Time for a new dream. Then I decided I would want to be a counselor. I would counsel parents of babies in the NICU. Then that same thought entered my mind. I started to think what could I do to help babies and families through the process of illness, NICU, procedures and all that goes into those very rough times. AhHa I could start a clothing line specializing in Preemie sizes. Oh wait, I don’t know how to sew. I don’t know how to use a sewing machine. That may be a problem. Well what can I do? Then I was pregnant with my son Butch and it became very apparent that my calling at the time was to be a Mom. My job has been raising kids, managing schedules, teaching them core values and instilling morals and beliefs. Last fall we had our last baby. Though Sherman and I will eventually want more and love having babies and adding to our large family. The Dr. said we would be putting my body at risk if we were to continue having babies as 4 c-sections is a huge stress in my uterus and that he advises a permanent birth control option as future pregnancies could end up in a ruptured uterus and loss of both baby and I. That is a huge risk! The having baby stage of my life is complete. Now what? My little Brody will be in pre-school in 2 and a half short years. What will fill my time?

   Today I start school again. I know, I am 30 years old with 4 kids and I am going back to college. I have a long term plan that starts with small baby steps to a long 4-6 year process. I am starting with my Business & Marketing degree. When I complete that I am going to add in a Human Resources Specialty. When that is complete I am going to go for my second Bachelors by adding in Healthcare Management. With all that education I am hoping to find a position in a hospital that would help with the running, management and funding of a hospital and NICU. I know I have a lot of work to do and I am looking forward to it. There may be times I just don’t have time to blog and I hope you understand and hang in there with me. That being said Bruiser just had a nightmare and is curled up on my lap right now so I had better get going. A good book and a long (boring in his eyes) documentary should put this little guy back to sleep. Which I must add a “thank you Netflix, even though my kids loathe your vast listings of documentaries, I thoroughly enjoy them, Thank You!” ok, good night dear friends and wish me luck tomorrow! Hope you all have a great Monday and an even better week!