Skinny Clothes?

    Ahhhhhhhh to be thin again. It’s a goal! Believe it or not I used to be a very tiny, skinny person! When my Husband and I met 5 years ago I was an itty bitty size 0 now you need trigonometry to figure out my size!
According to MeMe I will be thin again when I am 50, great 20 more years of fat? Hope, not! According to Butch, I AM skinny, well if you knew my child at all you would know he is a HUGE kiss ass when it comes to the people he loves. He is very sensitive and will go OUT of his way to protect your feelings. When he is put into a position of picking sides where someones feelings could get hurt this genius boy will find a way to stand firmly in the middle, dropping a complement to each side and not hurting anyones feeling looking like he is Switzerland! So it is no surprise that Butch thinks I am skinny, his opinion doesn’t count because of his sweet little self. Sherman is a very smart man, also careful not to hurt my feelings, or in the case of Husband talking to or about Wife’s weight it’s not so much hurting feelings as it is pissing your wife off and suffering for quite some time. If weight is ever brought up, all he says is, “God I LOVE your boobs!” and of course for the next 10 minutes it’s all about my TaTa’s and how great they are and come here let me play with them, followed by me swatting him away and cautiously looking for one of our many kids bound to see their Father grabbing Moms tits and playing around and he settles for a quick flash with a little jiggle as I squirm away, and my weight is the furthest thing from my mind at that point. Re-reading what I just typed the Man is a damn genius too. Finds a way to not hurt, offend, infuriate me and still gets a little action! All that being said, my weight is never really a topic around this house until it’s time to go some place. By that I mean out, some place special. Not everyday errands but special occasions. You know, parties, family functions, school stuff, dinners, date night, anything where there might be cameras, etc. etc. etc. Then my weight is a huge topic for me and it’s a miracle if I make it through without having a breakdown or quiet cry session somewhere. Let me explain…..

   The day of said event I get very anxious. I have already been tormenting myself for days trying to figure out what the hell I am going to wear. I am a cheap individual so my options never include Prada, Versace or any of the like. I do not like to spend a fortune on clothes. I love showing cleavage and most of my clothing reflects that. I tend to try every shirt on, that I fit, and it reduces me to tears as I am angry that “I don’t feel pretty” it usually ends with me rushing out to buy a new top. Something that hasn’t faded, shrunk, stained, or I just don’t fucking want to wear it anymore. I go for solid colors, patterns and my fat ass not a good combo so I usually pass. It has to be low cut, for me, low cut is not that low, my cleavage damn near starts at my chin hahahahaha! I get home and get dressed, by this point the kids have been ready for quite some time and they are bored and getting anxious. I start putting on my make up, which usually only takes 10 minutes, unless I am constantly interrupted to make life run for everyone else..you know the feeling! Once I get to my blush I know I am almost done as I am sure to have 3 kids staring at me from some place in the bathroom, reminding me that they are bored and trying to stay out of Dads way as he is close to the edge and near blow up point so they hide near me and my protective super powers. Which, really means, pull some shit Sherman and I am going to go postal on you, rip your head off, scream at you for starting this goddamn occasion off on the wrong foot and why the hell do you get like this every time we have to go some place. I know you hate social situations but take a fucking pill and chill out. He walks away, I take a deep breath realizing after that, I am the one that needs the Xanax! I finish my make up, squirt my perfume on, double check doors, windows, curtains, lights, TV, etc. etc put my shades on and walk out the door. Jump in the van, lean over and kiss my hubby, reassure him that I DO love him and I AM sorry and lets all take a deep breath and have a good time! Then off we go!
   Some day I will be thin again, hopefully sooner than later. When that day comes I will have a zillion things to wear. Yep! I did! I still have ALL my skinny clothes! I doubt I will ever be a size 0 again, but I have all my clothes from size 8 and below…and trust me there is A LOT! Well over 30 pairs of jeans, khakis and pants. About 10 mini skirts, 10 very low cut, short, dresses, 4 dress blazers, 30 tank tops of some sort and over 100 tops! I have them ALL! My husband has asked to get rid of it all numerous times, and I have thought about it a few times as it taunts me and tortures me from up in that closet, screaming nasty remarks that make me want to put my fist threw a wall. Muttering things not so nice. But I keep it. my skinny closet, my skinny ink barrel of clothes, my hot, sexy times………………………………………..
   But then I blush, smile and think………………………………

            but hey….Goddammit I have awesome fucking titties and my Husband thinks I’m hot!

** This post is inspired by the writing prompt,
My ‘goal clothes’.  {You know, the clothes you hope to one day fit back into…} on Bloggy Moms

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Skinny Clothes?

About Miranda Sherman

Miranda Sherman is a stay at home Mom of four & full time student majoring in Business Management & Marketing from Detroit Lakes, Minnesota. She blogs about her crazy family of six & two dogs on her blog Minnesota Miranda, featuring book and product reviews, giveaways, news, parenting tips and advice, shopping, recipes, fashion, travel, deals and so much more.” Find me on Google+

Comments

  1. Here from FTLOB for Comment Love Day!
    Your introspection is great, and your husband is a genius. As long as he finds you hot, it doesn’t matter what arbitrary size you are.
    I’ll have to check out more of your posts.

  2. Awesome! I lost all the baby weight FAST, then went back to work and started eating out all the time for lunch and gained 10 pounds. And now that I have had a kid, I gain weight in a different way, something I was never warned about!!

  3. Thanks for stopping by the Tiki Hut today. I read your blog and thought, “How did this woman get in my head?”. LOL I had a tummy tuck last year, and was on cloud 9 for about 9 months. Then I began to notice that I’m really really really still going to have to watch the rest of me. Because that is where the weight goes now. I can’t win ! Now I have great boobs, a flat belly, and my thighs and ass are off the charts !

  4. Hey found you through the Monday Monkey Blog Hop! Hhhmmmm….I don’t even know really what to say- I took all my skinny clothes to Goodwill after keeping them around for so long. UGH!!! I hope to someday be able to be in good enough shape to keep up with my grand kids! Good luck. Hope you will stop by and follow back.

  5. Don’t swat the guy away when he’s showing the twins some love. If anyone sees him and asks what’s going on, just say you dropped an M & M in there and he’s looking for it. It might actually work…

  6. It took me a long time to figure out that I need to be comfortable in my own skin, and once I did that, it feels pretty freaking satisfying!

  7. Oh dear…I sooo feel your pain. I go through the same damn thing. I also am lucky that my hubby loves me and my Ta-Ta’s too hee,hee!There is nothing to be done about it until we are ready and just about every Monday I say todays the day to “diet”. but Monday goes and I haven’t lost a pound.Good luck!!
    XOXO
    Shirley

  8. I just found your blog via a blog hop and am commenting to say I’m now following your blog on GFC!
    I just had a baby (my first) and am trying to be comfortable in my own skin again. It’s a rough journey!

  9. I really wish I took a picture of my boobs when my milk came in. Then, I could take the pic to a doctor and say, “I want THESE again!” They were giant!

  10. Love this post! First time stopping by and I am hooked!
    I would love to be in my skinny clothes again…but for now, the bump will have to be my fashion statement. 11 weeks left and then I can start dreaming of wearing my skinny clothes again

  11. Hey take it from a human yoyo (NEVER was a size 0 not even as an infant I don’t think!) Size really does not matter—it is YOU and the person that you are–You sound like a great person with a great sense of humor–and your hubby loves you just the way you are!!! I am hopping around from the Monkey hop and am already a follower but your post got me reading!! HAGD!!!
    Michele aka MikiHope
    http://www.mikishope.com

  12. haha JR, while this may work the kids may wonder why Daddy is trying to retrieve that M&M with his tongue as he flicks at my nipples, taking us to a whole new meaning, would I really want my 9 year old son to think M&M’s come out of nipples? hahaha!

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  14. Loved this post!! I can totally relate. I have all my skinny clothes in another closet. ONE day I will be a size 8 or a size 6 again. 6 is my thinnest EVER!!

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